We are Live, not rehearsing.

Stand by! Roll tape! Action! Cut! These are popular language of a film director, I mean film for real. The ones we watch, yes, that one that feeds your fantasies. (Smiles). 

Reminds me of my favourite show for now "One Born Every Minute", a young lady was about to give birth and she was in so much pain, shouting on top of her voice as the baby was making his way out, unknown to her how far she has gone in labour, she asked the midwife when she will start real labour. The midwife could not help laughing as she explained to her that "you don't get it better than this, it's no rehearsal, you are even at the last lap of your labour, just give me your best push now when you get the urge to push" and surprisingly, that was her last push and the baby came out turning his head. The mother was astonished as she kept screaming "What? Is he out?" Very touching sight.

My point is , we are sometimes so engrossed in our present that we forget that it will eventually pass.
I miss those beautiful moments in school when we worshiped our God like that was the last, when we cared less about status and many things we want to become, when we left school to camp for a whole week just to pray, we walked crazy distance because we had to be in fellowship. So many good experiences as well as the not too good ones, when I had to use my handkerchiefs as sanitary pad, when people were avoiding me because I was always in need of N20, N50, N100 etc., when the future was so vague...

Personally, my life took a new turn when Faith delivered me from unknown fear. I now look back and have so many reasons to praise God and also to keep moving on. You need to understand that you are living and not rehearsing. Stop procrastinating. Start what is being laid on your heart. Life is not a rehearsal, you might never get this chance, time, plan and people altogether again. I wish I was bold enough to step up to my dream when I had the time and people at my beck and call. Now, I am living my dream, it is taking more out of me to reach those goals. I thought I was rehearsing, like all those opportunities will 'repeat play'...

I know people will give you one thousand and more reasons not to, but my dears, a little exposure opened my eyes, you can thrive at any age. I'm placing a bet on you Pearls..don't let me down.

Joy of waiting

                                              
Hello Pearls.                                           
I'm a bit skeptical about this subject, but have to look pass what I feel because I told myself from inception, that this is all about YOU. I will try as much as I can not to hold back subjects that I consider important to you in your young and decision making age.

I was 28, and never had any sort of infection. When I noticed one I knew I needed medical help. Thanks to my sister, my colleague, my friends and cousins. Yes, my 16 year old cousins then. It was like I was the only one that didn't know what to do. I was embarrassed when they were lecturing me. Everyone around me knew something was wrong with me, I asked every lady in the office and church and they all laughed at me. I learn from that experience to always take and keep information so you can find them to use in times of need.

When at the hospital, some test were required. I was particularly shocked when the nurse asked me when last I was with a man and where did I get the infection from etc. I was angry but I kept a straight face and asked her calmly; Does all infection come from sexual intercourse? She said No. I told her that was a relief but out of curiosity, I asked her why she thought I must have gotten it from a man. Her very angry face turned smiley as she explained to me that I was of age and it could have been anything. 

After all the tests done, I was relieved to discover it was a minor issue, like it was nothing, may be just a toilet irritation. But I noticed all the nurses in that department were so nice to me and I in turn enjoyed the relationship because after then, even when I sneezed, I called them. Apparently, I got to know through the head of the department, that they were shocked to discover I was a virgin at 28, with my quite bubbly attitude.I appreciated that fact and I told her it was not by might. 

Where do I want to start from? Was it the constant struggles to remain in one piece before marriage or the pressure to do it from so called relationships I found myself? I went through all that as well my Pearls. All I knew was that I wanted to wait and was tempted several times not to. Salvation played a vital role, accountability helped me too. I remember several time, when I told Mama IJ, one of my destiny helpers, that I was going on dates with someone pressurizing me for sex, she would make me see every reason not to go. Sometimes she invited me over, and gave me better treats. Still, it was my choice. Thank God I listened.

Months after the hospital experience, the chosen one found me and the joy that filled his soul when he found me in a piece? I can't relate that? You've got to wait and experience it. Apart from the spiritual benefits of waiting, it helps to solidify trust in marriage, you can't trade that for few seconds of untimely pleasure.

My friends at the hospital attended my beautiful wedding and they gave me a beautiful gift. I was so elated to find out I was being dotted on just because I was a virgin. You are worth the wait my Pearl. Confess regularly that you will not trade God for emotions untold. Choose to be the last girl standing.

  

You are worth all the Investment!

 Hiya Pearl,

 Want to share this with you. If anyone has ever told you to your face that you are disappointment, please shrug it off. I heard that over and over again and I asked myself how do I manage not to disappoint Aunty this, Uncle that, friend A and B?

That was one of my major struggle growing up. I had many people to look up to. Many whom God has decorated my life with. For the sake of growth, it got to a point I wanted my reality. My own ideas, my style, my voice etc. It was a major challenge to make that transition, but when I did, I fell out with many friends, guardians and even acquaintances.

You don't have to be rebellious, don't get me wrong. I had my share of that too, not too pleasant Pearl. You can start from a standpoint of choosing who you want to serve, God or the pleasures of this world. Don't be caught up with things that do not matter. Don't trade your personality and self esteem for emotions untold.
You can be your voice and make everyone proud of you. Don't be a waste, you are precious. That is why I call you Pearl.

Nike Tito

Now when I look back, I can boldly say, my past is over in Jesus. All things have been made new

Dare to tell me who to date/marry?

My Pearls,

My mum-in law furnished me with this story. Thought I should share. I call her mum. She is different and the best there is.

This is best way I can summarize this.When mum was at a very tender age, she got a scholarship to study abroad. Years down the line, after studying and working for like 3 years, she felt she was ready and ripe for marriage. She was actually, at 23. There were three suitors, so she was confused. As the norm was then, her friends urged her to write their names and send home for consultation which she did. 

As this was going on, she had one in mind that she would readily pick and settle down with but by the time a letter came from home, this her No 1. was number last. She had a very serious thought over it all and with persuasion from her friends, she picked the best according to the letter. They had what I call an elaborate wedding in the UK, I have the pictures. 

Down the line, Daddy Nat, my dad-in law who called himself my boyfriend now resting in peace, got a call from home to attend to something important. He came home and their relationship derailed so much that when mum joined him they could not agree on anything again. It was a fierce battle for like 7 years and then they separated.

After the separation, mum was forced to go back to her dad's place. One night, they were eating when her dad pitifully said, 'You should have followed the instructions on the letter I sent to you, that baba is hot, ribesebe ni (meaning whatever he sees comes to pass). And at that point, mum flared up and said I did exactly what was written in the letter baba mi (my father). Baba left his food, went in and brought the original paper where it was written in black ink that Daddy Nat and Mum will have such a nice beginning, but it won't last and Mum's No 1. was picked as the right person for her, they were meant to be together.

Apparently, in those days, when there is an important message to be sent abroad, the elderly people called on the students on their street, they dictate and the students composed the letter in their own words. On this occasion,I think Baba called an hungry student, who misplaced all  the names and information, he mistakenly put Daddy Nat's name in place of No 1. man. However, his writing was influenced by Mum's aunty, who felt, Daddy Nat is from Ogun State in Nigeria, an Egba man, since they are Egba too, it was the best option all together. That was how her life was used as a case study. 

Daddy Nat and Mum

Mum will be 70 this year, and I tell you she has not recovered from that shock. Now, we laugh about it but I imagined the dreams lost in that process. So, when I was going to marry her son, people approached her to go source from prophets etc. You can imagine her reaction to that. 

If Mum had followed her heart, she would have taken the right path, though she was not born again then, even then, God guided her thoughts but somehow, the system and norm that we are so entangled with, took over, she did what she felt was right. Not funny at all.

We have a better choice now. We know God for ourselves. We can reach out to Him when and how we want. Blessed generation, aren't we? You've got to try to know how and when to make that final decision, when you can say of a truth 'I am influenced by God and none else.'