The promise I made.

See who just got back to writing. Mixed feelings flying everywhere at the moment.

When I started this blog, it was for two reasons. One, I was actively trying for a baby and wanted a distraction from the pressure, anxiety, worry etc. Did it work? YES!!! I wasn't only distracted, I ended up being busy with some beautiful ladies, made night calls to encourage some of my girls in challenging relationships, we were able to help some and didn't get anywhere with some.

The second reason I started sharing personal experiences was because I woke up each morning with a ''something is missing'' kind of feeling. When I searched my heart, it didn't take long to figure it out. So, I made a promise to God, that if He could just give me a baby, I will testify by writing about my experience to encourage someone. I will try summarize my testimony.

My waiting experience wasn't that long to be honest. But anytime anyone qualifies that time as short, I tell them to hold their breath for 5 minutes. That was how much I wanted my baby. Like the air I breathe. I got married in 2011, not very long after then I missed my period and was overjoyed. I was becoming very sick at a point and was still getting negative result. I did several tests and was getting all pregnancy symptoms. The doctor advised then that if after a while, nothing happens I will have to do further rigorous test. In my life, I mean in my entire life, I hate things piecing into my skin. Thought of having further test finished me off at first. Many things happened, I couldn't cope with my work and had to resign. The day my period decided to gush out? You don't want to know. That experience was pinned down to many things, ectopic pregnancy, miscarriage etc. I just wanted that time to pass. It did pass.

I officially started getting worried after I have been with my husband for 6 months, charting and actively trying without any result. My faith is what I'll term as strong, but even at that, I was worried and cried many nights. Our GP wasn't even going to do anything until 6 months later, hence the reason I threw myself into voluntary works and writing this blog. I was busy in daytime but my fears was still there at night to stare at me. Many nights I was sensitive enough to use words of affirmations, I confessed and declared the positives. It worked magic. Sincerely, there were times I couldn't hold up to pray at all. However, I remember I did a whole lot of singing, listened to worship songs that helps me get over myself.

It wasn't until 8 months after actively trying that we visited our GP again. Of course, we knew he was going to send us back but we just wanted to see if another ovulation test can be done on me. For some reason, while we were talking, I got very emotional and started to cry.
Long story short, we were called in to start fertility tests based on our age. That was it. From that moment we got signed on fertility test, I felt so light, it was as if the burden of tryiing to conceive was laid on the fertility clinic. We felt better, stopped charting, and of course we were busy. The process started with my own tests, my first consultation was dramatic as the doctor on duty asked me to have a sit, she then went on her knees to have me looking straight into her eyes, she told me that day and I will never forget those words ''If i tell you nothing is wrong with you, will you believe me? I decided not to reply her, she went on to explain to me that all my test showed I was in perfect condition to get pregnant, she advised me to wait and not to travel the fertility process, because according to her, many people on it really want it easier. Ok, agreed, nothing is wrong with me, then why have I not fallen pregnant? I left on that note. Hanging on to hope, I smiled at everything in buggies and prams before I even realized some were just dolls.

So many emotional ups and down, God kept me. My amazing husband was a life support because in the midst of it all, we laughed a lot. Thanks to him. My next appointment was in 3 weeks, can you believe I did not keep it? No, I didn't have to, the only call I put through to them was to cancel and inform them to take my name off. I was pregnant already, I found out while I was with a friend who kept pestering me to do a test,  according to her I was hyper active. That day, when I watched the second line turned up, I almost fainted. You'll understand what I mean if you've seen many negative pregnancy test lines before.

That was how my boy was conceived, first and second trimesters were something else. If I show you pictures, you won't believe it was me. I was practically in and out of hospitals for good 6  months. It was a challenging time in all aspect, God kept us. He sent help.

Delivery was another story, It was a 4 days non-stop labour pain. God kept us. I had my boy, I saw his face for the first time and I bursted out laughing. My husband was scared at some point because I was just staring into space, not talking to anyone. Oh, I will always say this, with the right man, a woman can soar. I depended on his shoulders for practically everything. God kept us.

Fast forward to now, I have an adorable, most blessed and highly favoured general in my son.
I am encouraging someone waiting to see what God alone can do. He will come through. He will keep you through the waiting, He will bless you with many seeds and your fruits will blossom in His time.

You are more beautiful than you think.

Still on self confidence issues. Got to drop off my schedule to quickly tell you how beautiful you are (If you accept you are beautiful), how ugly you will always feel If you don't accept you are beautiful and the habit of constantly speaking good vibes to yourself.

Aside my personal experience with self esteem, I'm greatly touched each time I see one of Dove's advertising campaign; Dove Real Beauty Sketches. You should check it out on youtube. Astounding ad. Critics of the ad says, it should have been directed to young ladies, or Dove should have used young girls as models in order to help build self confidence of young and growing ladies, however, I am less concerned about all that, the moment I saw the ad, the message stuck. Isn't that the purpose of all ads? 

So, I'm drawn to fact that some of us don't even value anything about us. You don't like your eyes, nose, ears, height etc Or like me, my slightly curved legs use to make me go 'Oh why me?' especially when I see models with lovely straight legs. (Old things are passed away though...lol, now for me, If your legs aren't curved, they are bad! Jokes please)

These three different women were invited into an open space drawing studio where a forensic artist was asked to draw each of them only depending on what they describe to him because he had his back turned to them. The same process was repeated with random strangers who after meeting each woman at the lobby for few minutes were asked to describe the person they just met. 
The two images (as described by self and stranger) of each woman were placed beside each other and they were all asked to come describe what they see. 
The result of the images that were drawn up from other people's description of them were better, livelier and more believable. Some of the women found the process emotional, not believing that they are actually better than they thought. Even the forensic artist felt the enthusiasm in the voice of the strangers. 
That is exactly my point, you are beautiful than you think.

On the second or third thought, I feel they were lucky they met people who appreciates what they saw, or for the purpose of the ad, well mannered and sensitive people. I'm not sure. But in real life, some will never, ever see anything good, no matter how small in you.  It's got to start with you darl!

Remember always, nobody will notice you in this world, unless you feel like you are being noticed first. It's called self confidence, not pride. Your self confidence is critical to your happiness, otherwise, you will always feel something is missing, even when you have all the things money can buy.

Please girls, use your mirror everyday, speak beautiful things to yourself. I use this line: 'I am beautiful inside and outside.' No matter what anyone thinks of me, It's my call and I insist on it.







Each time I am alone with my thoughts, I still remember how everyone I have ever come across, treats or have treated me. Working on trashing the ugly bits. I keep praying, because I don't forget easily how people make me feel, even If I forget their names.

My Pieces turning nifty, I knew it!

Hiya Girls! Excited to write again. Need to let you girls know, that you rock my world. Been particularly privileged to be your friend and confidant on basic matters of life. I look forward to the day, when our Pearls club will give all the help in this world to young aspiring young women.

I haven't written on our blog for sometime but I have been in contact with some of us, we have prayerfully confronted some issues, and results are inevitable girls. I am still happy to pick your calls anytime, If I am not able to, please leave me a voice message. I love you girls and want the best for you all.
I need to commend one of my Pearls, Ewatomi, very astounding with such love for her friends. She made sure we prayed for her friends, always asking me to call on them. I'm happy to do your bid ma'am. God will reward you.

If you haven't heard me said this before, do you know I was once called foolish, stupid, dumb etc, felt inferior, useless, e.t.c. When I talked, some looked at themselves and made weird expressions like "What the hell is she saying?" I went back into my shell, the creativity I thought I had was slipping off me, I cried myself to sleep,while I reminded my God, You promised! Don't leave me now.

They were all in pieces, what I want to do, where I want to be, and my favorite line: 'I want my existence to cause a major break out of joy in people's life', was gradually becoming a pipe dream, like a mirage.

I see many things, what do you see?

Having found a platform to work with young ones and teenagers, I know in my spirit that my well-designed days are here. I can't believe I was inferior to anyone. I can do all things. Oh my God! I am excited. I have learn to hold on to my part of the dream. Even when others are saying; Elephant is huge and there is nothing round about it, what if I was only able to grab and feel its feet which obviously are round, we have our perceptions of the same Elephant, but they are different. So hold on to your slimmest Ideas, they will come handy, trust me.


Sweetheart, you've got to just keep dreaming big. Leave the how, when and where to God, He will fix you. Perhaps you are wondering what I have that makes me think I'm thick, did I guess right? It's an Idea, opportunity, peace, true love, you my Pearls, my first and last, The King of all creations, Yahweh! He, who influences all things.

The Prince you want!

Do you know his name, address, job title and description, his mum, his this and that? Many of us think we know. I remember how I use to say I want my husband, taller, dark with pink lips.../(smiles). When we met, I totally forgot the pink lips part, so on our second anniversary, I asked him "where is the pink on your lips", he said I must have taken it because he had it on when he met me. We laughed it off, but deep within me, I knew pink lips was the least on my mind then.

My Pearls, the same way you have a picture of him, always make an allowance for his mum. Yes! His Mum. She is an important part of his make up that you can't flip over. If he is the Prince you want, then you should know that a queen has been responsible for him from way back. I call our own Queen Mum.

One Sunday afternoon, on our way from church, I felt it would be better to make my hair at once rather than driving Mum home and then drive out again. I didn't know how to tell her or seek her understanding. So I went on talking about it for like five minutes, Mum knew immediately what I wanted and she just offered to go with me. I made a quick U-turn and she started laughing and asked "U mean to tell me you were going to take me home first and come back here? Why? I smiled and was relaxed. We got to this salon where I use to waste my money. I settled Mum in, finished my hair, on our way out, one of my usual stylists asked me if my mum-in law was staying with me, I said "Yes, any problem?" Oh My God! She went on to tell me how dangerous it is, how her sister and friend are suffering for it etc. She ended the conversation praying that her own mother-in law must die before she gets married and at that point, I knew I had overstayed. I had that conversation playing in my head till we got home, but still, I have a choice.

I want to be a mum-in law, so I do not pray for a daughter-in-law who want me dead before meeting my son. That was exactly what encouraged me to pray for a good mother-in law. When I prayed, I was specific, I told God I wanted one with a good heart, who will care for me like I am her daughter, I use to say 'I will be a daughter she never had'. It turned out to be true.

She is the best, I married her only son, confidant and friend. She told me before we had our wedding, "Nike, I am leaving him to you, please care for him in your best ways, and please don't take him away from me"
I was so touched and I broke down in tears, just wondering if this much love could be for real, why didn't God let me have a bit of it.
Having no mum from a tender age made a tough me and I found it really weird when grown ups are all over with 'my mum' syndrome. My mother-in law changed that, I believe God wanted to show me how mother and child love works.

She is like a dear friend. Sometimes, she sits in front of me and we could gist till day break and she'll smile and say "Am I boring you"? Always seeking my consent, praying for me, feeding me in on what she went through with her only child. Now tell me, how can I not look pass her mistakes? She is not an angel after all. She is like a mother for real, and since I never really know how it works, she is always patient to tell me what you do and don't do to mothers.

Be prepared to love your mum-in law, never pray that she dies, that sounds to me like praying the law of karma into effect. The same way you are praying for Prince charming, pray for the Queen that conceived, carried, birthed and took care of him, she deserves it too.

Got this image off a friend's wall, Imagine you are this Mum.

When I got my groove back!

Years back in the University, I kept having this strange twinge on my left breast. I overlooked it for several months but it got to a point my mind kept going back to it, in class, in church, market etc. This fueled my decision to massage my breast everyday, so I laid on my back, one hand up, while the other massages the breast as convenient.
I did this for many months and the painful pang disappeared,  I was so relieved because I have read of breast cancer and I didn't want to take chances. My relief didn't last long though, because shortly after,  I started feeling a lump on that left breast. It was so distinct and it kept moving about.
Was I scared? Oh! My God!, that is an understatement. My many reasons for worrying ranges from financial to many others. I didn't know what to do, so I sought help of a doctor, who tested me severally because I kept going back after I prayed to see if the lump would disappeared.

I believed in God and exercised faith, but in this case, the lump stayed put. I didn't have any means to get through with the finances involved for a surgery plus the thought of having me sliced around that place gave me sleepless nights. However, with faith in God, He made a way. I confided in one of my hall mates in school, who told her mum, she had me booked for check ups immediately.

 I still did not want the lump removed, I wanted such news like; 'OK, the lump is not cancerous and you will be fine'. Through all the test I did, the conclusion was to remove the lump because apparently, it was getting bigger. 

In summary, I had the surgery, in the midst of all the emotional roller coaster, I pulled through. I slept well afterwards. There are people who have it reoccurring, but the basic attention should be given to detecting on time and having it removed immediately to avoid cancerous tendencies.  I am forever grateful to my hall mate whose mum helped me.

I beg you Pearls, do those simple routines on your breast, even if you are not sure, get tested to be sure. God bless and keep you loves, help yourself while you can.
Always having you in mind.

Take note of your cue!

Someday, you will say yes. Be prepared.

I am very sure some of you have heard this line before; "If you really love me, you will let me have you".

And then you will go all emotional and have sleepless nights, working it out in your head, ideas like; 'Oh! how he loves me, he has shown me he does by taking me out, buying me things and to top it all, he cares about my Education! Of all things, my Education! He must be the one, may be I should let him have a glimpse, or a touch, or... Oh! that nice way of doing it, he said he won't force his way in, so on and forth'

In your dreams my dear. If you dare let him near that spot, with a promise that he won't go in, you are being taken for a fool,please don't be one. 
I have heard it called so many names, but I like to call it couple/ baby dance. For your own information, sex is sex.

I got a call from one of my Pearls who is worried about her friend, she called me to talk with her which I did. This beautiful voice brought back a lot of memories, those times of living in constant fear of the unknown. She is in this relationship that seems good enough except for sex issues. In her own case, she is already doing it, but I was encouraged even more to call her up and let her know she can stop right now. Most of our conversation is basically to get her to stop doing couple dance for now.  I asked her one day if she is happy doing this before marriage, she said No! I asked if she is at peace with her conscience, she said No! I went on to ask if she trust God to take care of her, she said Yes but not too sure. I then realized that is where her problem lies.
She was on the verge of giving all her hopes up for a man that will eventually walk out on her,a mere man that will use, disrespect and dump her. I do not know how else to say it or how nicely to tell her but I ended up telling her in my nicest nature and I remember my words exactly "Sweetheart, If you don't leave him now, he will leave you soon. You want to know why? You are big minus for him, a liability. The moment he feels he has done enough for you,he will take his nice gesture to someone else, he will embarrass you by leaving you"

I am sharing this short story with her consent, and it is a cue for us to pray Pearls. For one another so none of you will fall into wrong hands, keeping faith, you will hold on to trust in God and no one else.

I identified with her on this, because I once faced similar situation. Always trying to figure out the 5 W's and H. (In journalism these are the Who? What? Where? When? Why? and How?) I just couldn't comprehend how mighty our God is, tried and proven God, my only way OUT. I trusted in men, expended my precious spiritual abilities on mercy queue, always begging for mercy, which unarguably is God's provision for our fall, but not for our growth. You cannot be on that queue every time and expect to grow spiritually, physically,  intellectually and otherwise. It is the best way to describe moving in circles. However, now I am better...much better, I made it because I had God to hold onto, He alone knows the real woman in me.

So,sweethearts, this is my submission. Whatever relationship you are keeping now with him, If it bothers your conscience and peace so much, can you trust God enough to take a little time off? I know how difficult it is but please try. The truth is, each time you deliberately ignore your conscience, you are hardening your heart. Your capacity to tell right from wrong slowly erodes. But when you stay close to God, He reminds you of what is right. Don't ignore your conscience. It works in all aspects of life.

About trusting God for your needs, it is a topic for another day. I can witness about it so I will share with you on how I am coming out strong. Doesn't it all boil down to God? Of course! He is the one who influences all things.

Action plan: "When you don't know what to do, that's your cue to pray."

Friendly Setbacks, let them go!

It's been a while I left a post. I miss writing for you Pearls. Today is particularly a special day, so I am happy to write.
Let me let you know ahead of time  that I love all my friends and do not take them for granted. Fantastic individuals, without some of them, I just wonder.

On a lighter mood, one of my good funny friends, told us of how her sister and her group of friends were all gisting about  life after school. One after the other, they outlined their plans to be married, become teacher, doctor, etc after school. But a particular friend stood up when it was her turn to talk and said when she finishes from University, she wants to rest and take off all the University pressures. Everyone laughed and they went on with their lives.
Unfortunately for her, the Angel on duty that day agreed with what everyone said, they all left school and like prophecy coming to pass, all they wanted was falling into place as they planned, even the one who wanted to rest, did rest. Her mistake I guess was that she didn't specify how long she wanted to rest that day, so her resting continued for a long time, at least up to the point that my friend told me, she was still resting, I know somehow she'd have moved on now.  Funny! I didn't find it amusing at first because I felt she must have said those things innocently, however, her story regulated my thoughts, setting me permanently at +POSITIVE.

So, when it was my turn to keep friends, I use to think I chose them but I later realized that God brought them my way is a better way to put it. One of my friends called five of us together, she said she had an urge to pray for her future and family and she wanted us to do it together, we called ourselves Covenant friends, met at our different hostels, prayed, prayed, worshiped, worshiped, prophesied and lots more. There were times we couldn't pray much, we just cried on each others shoulders, asking God to take all emotional pains away and help us to please Him.

Courtesy: Precious Family Forever

Shockingly, years after school, I looked back and realized one after the other, four out of five of us were living their dreams, one became bank manager at a very tender age and married. Two started their own businesses and are doing well, both married, another was working with a reputable bank,married too, and the fifth friend was waiting patiently, Me! I refused to be a repeat of bad tales!!! (Laughs)
I can smile about it now, but the waiting period, wasn't such a pretty sight. All my friends were very supportive of me. I was welcomed and treated well at their homes. They were very sure and never seized to tell me that when my time comes,it will be mind blowing and it was.
 I want to say to you Pearls, recognize the good friends God brings your way. There were people I like to be friends with, but when I weigh my motives, I pause. I'd rather be friends with someone whose motivation and mine is not just to parade our goodness in front of others, but rather to please God. I feel safe like that.

It's a long epistle today, but take note Pearls. Beware of friends that might cause major setbacks that one won't be able to recover from. I have seen such happened. Your true friend should understand you, uncover your strength and weakness, make you feel safe, pray with you, trust you, take your side when you are not there, have the same beliefs with you etc.
My husband told me about some not too good places he knows about in Nigeria, he went on and on and in my mind I knew I'd been so some of those places somehow, through some friends of course, as I wanted to be honest with him, I blurted with descriptions; I've been there, that place too, that other one too, I thought I told you. He laughed with his common line; "my wife, you didn't tell me that one o"! He turned towards me looking serious this time, he said, 'You were lucky not to have been raped' Trust me, I was quick to answer, 'I didn't hang out with rapist'.

It is important you have the right people around you. If there are such friends, who make you think less of God, or make you feel in-secured, furnishing you with inferiority complex, I beg, you need them not, thou must let them go!

We are Live, not rehearsing.

Stand by! Roll tape! Action! Cut! These are popular language of a film director, I mean film for real. The ones we watch, yes, that one that feeds your fantasies. (Smiles). 

Reminds me of my favourite show for now "One Born Every Minute", a young lady was about to give birth and she was in so much pain, shouting on top of her voice as the baby was making his way out, unknown to her how far she has gone in labour, she asked the midwife when she will start real labour. The midwife could not help laughing as she explained to her that "you don't get it better than this, it's no rehearsal, you are even at the last lap of your labour, just give me your best push now when you get the urge to push" and surprisingly, that was her last push and the baby came out turning his head. The mother was astonished as she kept screaming "What? Is he out?" Very touching sight.

My point is , we are sometimes so engrossed in our present that we forget that it will eventually pass.
I miss those beautiful moments in school when we worshiped our God like that was the last, when we cared less about status and many things we want to become, when we left school to camp for a whole week just to pray, we walked crazy distance because we had to be in fellowship. So many good experiences as well as the not too good ones, when I had to use my handkerchiefs as sanitary pad, when people were avoiding me because I was always in need of N20, N50, N100 etc., when the future was so vague...

Personally, my life took a new turn when Faith delivered me from unknown fear. I now look back and have so many reasons to praise God and also to keep moving on. You need to understand that you are living and not rehearsing. Stop procrastinating. Start what is being laid on your heart. Life is not a rehearsal, you might never get this chance, time, plan and people altogether again. I wish I was bold enough to step up to my dream when I had the time and people at my beck and call. Now, I am living my dream, it is taking more out of me to reach those goals. I thought I was rehearsing, like all those opportunities will 'repeat play'...

I know people will give you one thousand and more reasons not to, but my dears, a little exposure opened my eyes, you can thrive at any age. I'm placing a bet on you Pearls..don't let me down.